gnome fest.... [Archive] - Minnesota Off-Road Cyclists Discussion Forums

LakeRaven

02-05-2004, 09:03 AM

Gnome-Fest is a mountain bike gathering at the Nine Mile County Forest near Wausau, Wisconsin. If you don’t ride a bike of the knobby brethren, then forget it!

There are many gnomes in Wisconsin, and the largest concentration supposedly lives in this forest. The cost is ten dollars per person. All proceeds from the event will be donated to the Wisconsin Off Road Bicycle Association (WORBA). Gnome-Fest is great trails and good friends, and sneaky gnomes that do nothing but dance and sing at the end of the long hard day.

SINGLESPEEDS and BEER
This not a singlespeed only event although there'll be lots of SSr's at Gnome-Fest. Gnomes revere one gear. Bring what you currently ride and have a blast. The trails of the nine mile are sublimely contoured for maximum SS pleasure. Gearies, duallies, cruisers, clunkers, junkers and singlespeeds all riding in harmony with a belly full of beer basted gnome. Did somebody say beer? We're gonna have a keg of New Glarus Spotted Cow Ale for everyone to enjoy on Friday night. On Saturday night, I propose a great beer exchange. We'll provide a huge cooler and ice. We invite each of you to bring a sixer of your favorite micro brew from home. Bring growlers of home brew. Bring tankards of barley wine and mead. In return, you will get to sample what everybody else has brought from their home worlds. Kind of an interplanetary pot-luck beer tasting. I predict numerous gnome sightings in the wee hours of the great beer exchange.

WHEN
September 24-26, 2004
Folks will start to arrive Friday Evening and the fest will begin to wind down on Sunday Afternoon. Don’t be surprised if you run over a few gnomes while arriving. They have the ego of a squirrel, yet, they're spicy enough to be a delicacy ....and gnomes have the tendency to display obscene finger gestures, which is grounds for cooking them.

WHERE
Directions to Nine Mile : Interstate 39 (Formerly 51) to County N, then West 3.5 miles to Red Bud Road, then 1-1/2 miles South past the chalet approximately 1 1/2 miles to the South Trailhead parking lot. If you see signs that are no more than 3 inches from the ground, ignore them. That’s a gnome sign written in crayon with really bad grammar. Just run it over.

LODGING

CAMP
We have reserved the South Remote Parking area on Redbud Road for the festival. We’ll be camping and riding right from there. This is not the lot near the chalet where the 24/9 camping is located. It is the lot a mile and a half further down Redbud Road. The more remote location assures our merriment will not disturb the chalet’s wedding party. Be forewarned, there is no drinking water or garbage pickup at our camping area. But you sure can cook some freshly caught gnomes. The nearest source of drinking water is at the Chalet. Don’t drink gnome saliva. It’s an aphrodisiac in reverse.

We ask that you come prepared to pack out everything you pack in. Gnome bones are to be thrown in the fire. Bring extra water, garbage bags, rubber bands, some bubble gum, a butterfly net, beer, waterwood and firewood, toilet paper, a clean pair of shorts, paper clips, sunscreen, ass-pirin, and some oregano just for kicks.

HOTELS
There is plenty of lodging in and around Wausau. Here are a few links to guide you to local hotels.
Wausau-Central Wisconsin Convention and Visitors Bureau
www.wausaucvb.com
or
888-948-4748

RIDE
The Nine Mile County Forest has plenty of singletrack interweaved within miles of xc ski trail. There will be morning and afternoon activities for riders of all abilities. A two dollar daily trail pass is required to mountain bike at the Nine Mile County Forest Trail System. A self registration station is located in the chalet parking lot. A gnome cleaning station will also be provided. Oh, and don’t forget to ride sober either. If you ride drunk, the local gnome population will make sure you won’t remember the previous night, and your butt will be sore.